NDN Blog

1/13 Roundup: I can has $350 billion?, Senate Seats like Candy, Trading Tickets for Love

Barney FrankLeader: I Can Has $350 Billion?

- President-elect Barack Obama is trying to get his hands on the second half of the TARP funds.  President Bush put congress on notice yesterday, and requested that our representatives make the funds available for Obama on his first day in office.

- He's running into unexpected difficulty in the House, where lawmakers are asking for more specific details on how Obama plans to spend the money. Says Rep. Barney Frank: “We should not allow our disappointment at the Bush administration’s poor handling of the TARP program to prevent the Obama administration from using the funds in more appropriate ways..." His bill "sets forth the conditions we believe are necessary to assure that the public gets the full benefit of these funds.”

Politics

- According to the NY Times, Barack Obama plans to use an executive order on his first day in office to order the closing of the detention camp at Guantanamo Bay. It may take up to a year for the camp to actually close.

- Sen. George Voinovich announced that he plans to retire after the 2010 election, joining Sens. Brownback, Bond, and Martinez.  All four are Republicans, which means the GOP could be looking at another rough election year. To a lot of people, it's sounding like Republicans are looking at a long road back.

- Roland Burris got a seat in the Senate!  Now Al Franken wants one, too. Come to think of it, can I have a seat in the Senate?

Economy

- The folks at the World Economic Forum have released a report in advance of their annual meeting in Davos this month. The risk of serious fiscal crisis has "doubled if not tripled" in the past year.

International

- The NY Times calls John Kerry's chairmanship of the Senate Foreign Relations committee "a bit of a gold-plated consolation prize." Sad but true... but then, it's not so bad, either.  The Washington Post sees him more generously as one of a triumvirate leading US foreign policy. 

- Another third of that triumvirate, Hillary Clinton, is planning to emphasize "smart power" in her tenure as Secretary of State.  It looks as though this is "soft power" with a much more politically useful name. 

- The third member of the triumvirate is planning to send 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan-- curiously, not as a strategy to win the war, but as a strategy to buy time while the administration and the military reassess our overall strategy in the theater. 

One More Thing

- Diane Feinstein doesn't want you to sell your inauguration tickets.  But what about trading them for love and a cash gift?   

- Last, our Congressional leadership is going to do the YouTube!

 

 

1/12 Roundup: The Streets of Gaza City, Heilemann on New Politics, Ben's Chili Bowl

Fallen MosqueLeader: The Streets of Gaza City

- Israeli troops have pushed further into the Gaza Strip, engaging Hamas in heavily populated parts of Gaza City. Prime Minister Ehud Olmert insists that Israel is growing closer toward reaching its goals, but precisely what those goals are is still ambiguous. Since Thursday, Israel has been sending reservists into the conflict, an indication that they could be seeking to expand the conflict.

- The conflict, now more than two weeks old, has killed almost 900 Palestinians, nearly 40% of them women and cildren. Thirteen Israelis have been killed, most of them soldiers, though the rockets that initiated this conflict continue to fly from Gaza into southern Israel.

- Some in the region are concerned that this conflict could put a two-state solution to the Middle East conflict on the back burner for a long time.

- Roger Cohen would like to see more diversity in Barack Obama's Middle East team. A few people of Middle Eastern descent would be good.

Politics

- John Heilemann has a great piece in New York magazine on the new politics and the dramatic break from the past Obama represents. Simon is quoted extensively: "This isn't 1933 or 1961 or 1981 all over again, it's 2009, and what Obama has done is create a redirect of the entire political culture-new media, new demographics, new electoral map, a whole new set of governing challenges that will be the basis of the next 20 or 30 years."

- The Roland Burris saga roils on, but he may yet find his seat in the Senate today. Jon Alter gives readers a guide to the sundry characters in the Blagodrama.

- Politico looks at five battles likely to erupt on the Senate floor during the confirmation process. There's the "Panetta Vendetta," and I'd add a few other monikers: the "Holder Cold Shoulder," the "Screw Chu," and the "Geithner Ankle-Beithner"

Economy

- Obama is working to garner Senate support for his economic stimulus package, and is willing to compromise with lawmakers to achieve it.

- Paul Krugman argues that the current stimulus proposal puts too much money into ineffective business and payroll tax cuts, and not enough into infrastructure development.

- Neil Irwin and Dan Eggen, writing in the WaPo, characterize the past eight years as the worst in decades for the US economy. The gains of 2003-2007 turned out to have been produced by nothing more than unsustainable bubbles.

- Frank Rich echoes this theme in his column "Eight Years of Madoffs," in which he describes our engagement in Iraq as "A sinkhole of corruption, cronyism, incompetence and outright theft that epitomized Bush management at home and abroad."

International

- David Sanger had a great piece in the NYT magazine looking at the potential for worst-case disaster in Pakistan-- a crumbling of nuclear security.

- Corruption charges against Jacob Zuma, the South African ANC's choice to become the next president, have been resurrected.

One More Thing

- In a political and culinary masterstroke, Barack visited DC institution Ben's Chili Bowl over the weekend to enjoy one of their notorious half-smokes.  But we shouldn't be surprised-- it turns out Obama is both a bit of a foodie and a great appreciator of homestyle cookin. This is perhaps part of Obama's effort to bridge the deepest gulf in this city: Between the power elite, and everybody else.

- All eyes are on Sasha and Malia, as the race for the doghouse has been narrowed to two contending breeds: The proud Portuguese Water Hound, and the majestic Labradoodle.

- Last, since this is a culturally highbrow blog, instead of a video today, we have a poem, penned by Alice Phillips on behalf of Crooked Rod Blagojevich:

This is just to hold a press conference to announce

I have filled
the Senate seat
that it was in
my power to fill

and which you were probably
saving
for Quinn

Forgive me
it was a $(*)ing valuable thing
so sweet
and so *(^)ing golden

 

1/9 Roundup: Dissent in the Ranks, Missiles and Bombs, BO Won't Part with his Blackberry

Money!Leader: Dissent in the Ranks

- Nancy Pelosi anticipates a House vote on Barack Obama's stimulus a week after inauguration, but despite Obama's speech pushing the plan yesterday, it's far from clear that he'll even have the full support of his own party. Some Senate Democrats complained that the package is not aggressive enough, and many take issue with the significant portion of the proposal devoted to tax cuts. 

- John Kerry, for one, doesn't object to the tax cuts so much as he thinks they're a lower priority than some other spending objectives that have been left out. Barney Frank agrees: "I have some difference because I think they may be doing too much tax-cutting and not enough direct spending from the standpoint of immediate job creation."

- Paul Krugman also thinks the plan falls short. In an occasionally wonky but excellent piece, he says the plan isn't nearly big enough.

Economy

- Tim Geithner is getting ready to retool the financial bailout, most notably by expanding TARP to cover small businesses, municipalities, and homeowners.  He may establish a bureau within his Treasury department to oversee TARP.

- Meanwhile, on the Hill, senators were negotiating with Citigroup on a deal that would permit bankruptcy judges to renegotiate mortgages in situations where the mortgage costs more than the house. This is an important step toward keeping people in their homes.

Politics

- In 2010, Sen. Kit Bond is done.  The race to replace is already begun.

- William Lynn, a former Undersecretary for Defense, and presently a VP at Raytheon, will serve as Robert Gates' deputy Secretary of Defense.

International

- A large roadside bomb in Afghanistan killed 18 people near Kandahar province, including five American soldiers. GeneralDavid Petraeus spoke in Washington yesterday, arguing that a major,sustained military push is needed in Afghanistan to prevent the countryfrom spiraling out of control and into violence.

- The UN and international aid groups have continued their criticism of Israel, saying they have not been able to reach injured civilians. Several aid workers have been killed, causing those same groups to curtail their activities. Also, this eerie account of an injured Palestinian fighter seeing paradise and martyrdom in the misery around him is a must-read.

- Ukraine agreed to let Russian inspectors monitor the westward flow of gas, and Moscow agreed to turn the nozzles back on.  A whole lot of Eastern Europeans will be warmer this weekend.

One More Thing

- Regarding his blackberry, Obama to Secret Service: You can pry it from my cold dead hands.

- News Flash: Belgians are lazy.

- Last, if you're like me, this will make you giggle:

 

 

Obama on the Economy and the Stimulus

President-elect Barack Obama gave a major address this morning, in which he spoke to the severity of the economic crisis, and the importance of the stimulus package that he is proposing.  We were very happy with what we heard in the speech-- a few of our favorite quotes are pulled out below.  Below that, you can watch the video of Obama speaking, and if you like, you can read along here.

To finally spark the creation of a clean energy economy, we will double the production of alternative energy in the next three years. We will modernize more than 75 percent of federal buildings and improve the energy efficiency of 2 million American homes, saving consumers and taxpayers billions on our energy bills. In the process, we will put Americans to work in new jobs that pay well and can't be outsourced, jobs building solar panels and wind turbines, constructing fuel-efficient cars and buildings, and developing the new energy technologies that will lead to even more jobs, more savings, and a cleaner, safer planet in the bargain.

To improve the quality of our health care while lowering its cost, we will make the immediate investments necessary to ensure that, within five years, all of America's medical records are computerized. This will cut waste, eliminate red tape, and reduce the need to repeat expensive medical tests.

But it just won't save billions of dollars and thousands of jobs; it will save lives by reducing the deadly but preventable medical errors that pervade our health care system.

To give our children the chance to live out their dreams in a world that's never been more competitive, we will equip tens of thousands of schools, community colleges, and public universities with 21st-century classrooms, labs, and libraries. We'll provide new computers, new technology, and new training for teachers so that students in Chicago and Boston can compete with children in Beijing for the high-tech, high-wage jobs of the future.

To build an economy that can lead this future, we will begin to rebuild America. Yes, we'll put people to work repairing crumbling roads, bridges and schools, by eliminating the backlog of well-planned, worthy, and needed infrastructure projects, but we'll also do more to retrofit America for a global economy. That means updating the way we get our electricity, by starting to build a new smart grid that will save us money, protect our power sources from blackout or attack, and deliver clean, alternative forms of energy to every corner of our nation. It means expanding broadband lines across America so that a small business in a rural town can connect and compete with their counterparts anywhere in the world.

It means investing in the science, research, and technology that will lead to new medical breakthroughs, new discoveries, and entire new industries.

And, finally, this Recovery and Reinvestment Plan will provide immediate relief to states, workers, and families who are bearing the brunt of this recession. To get people spending again, 95 percent of working families will receive a $1,000 tax cut, the first stage of a middle-class tax cut that I promised during the campaign and will include in our next budget.

--

Now, this recovery plan alone will not solve all the problems that led us into this crisis. We must also work with the same sense of urgency to stabilize and repair the financial system we all depend on.

That means using our full arsenal of tools to get credit flowing again to families and businesses, while restoring confidence in our markets. It means launching a sweeping effort to address the foreclosure crisis so that we can keep responsible families in their homes.

It means preventing the catastrophic failure of financial institutions whose collapse could endanger the entire economy, but only with maximum protections for taxpayers and a clear understanding that government support for any company is an extraordinary action that must come with significant restrictions on the firms that receive support.

And it means reforming a weak and outdated regulatory system so that we can better withstand financial shocks and better protect consumers, investors, and businesses from the reckless greed and risk- taking that must never endanger our prosperity again.

1/8 Roundup: Stimul8ing, Shifting Opinions, Teddy Bear Cheney

Presidents

Leader:Stimul8ing

- Despite dark projections of a $1.2 trillion deficit, President-elect Obama's stimulus plan remains, well, a plan. The CBO forecasts an additional $3 trillion in debt over the next decade, and so Obama is getting serious about reducing wasteful spending. He's promised to make reform of Social Security and Medicare programs a priority, and has hired a Chief Performance Officer, Nancy Killefer of McKinsey & Co, to scrub the budget clean.

- Obama will speak this morning, emphasizing the threat of rising unemployment rates, and will attempt to sell his stimulus plan to skeptics.  Jay Newton-Small at Time notes that the stimulus package looks an awful lot like a laundry list of Obama campaign promises, and the Blue Dogs are concerned (but persuadable) by the plans obvious abandonment of pay-go.

- David Rothkopf is worried that Washington-style groupthink has taken over in this crisis.  He supports the stimulus, but asks that we apply the Powell Doctrine to the bailout and stimulus process: Not just overwhelming force, but also clear goals and an exit strategy.

Politics

- Roland Burris is about to get his seat in the Senate, and the Democrats have come out of this kerfuffle looking pretty silly.

- Obama has had a few missteps of late, and lots of feathers are ruffled. Simon brushes it all off in the Washington Times: "Any time a new president comes to town it upsets the existing order, and that's hard for a lot of people."

- John McCain is starting a new PAC to raise money for other Republicans in his mold.  It will be called the "Country First PAC."  

- Diane Feinstein thinks Leon Panetta is a great choice to head the CIA.

International

- A troubling report from the International Red Cross detailed one horrific scene in Gaza, and accused Israel of failing to meet its obligations under international humanitarian law. As the conflict stretches to nearly two weeks, the Palestinian death toll is quickly closing in on 700, more than half of whom were civilians. 

- In the north, Hezbollah appears to be engaging in a limited manner, firing several rockets from southern Lebanon into Israel. Marc Lynch sees the conflict in Gaza as win-win for al Qaeda. Richard Haass may serve as a special envoy to the Middle East, joining Richard Holbrooke, who is almost certain to serve in the same capacity in the Indian subcontinent, and Dennis Ross, who will work in Iran.

One More Thing

- At least one segment of the economy is doing well (you'll have to click the link, this forum is too prurient to discuss the subject), though a related industry is asking for a bailout (ditto).

- According to Dick Cheney, Dick Cheney is a "warm, loveable sort." Uh huh.

- Last, can't watch Obama at 11 today? Here's a preview of what he'll say:

1/7 Roundup: A Trillion, Senate Musical Chairs, Yes Pecan!

TrillionLeader: A Trillion

- President-elect Barack Obama has forecasted years of $1 trillion deficits, as tax revenue falls and government spending rises with the economic bailout and impending stimulus package. Obama says we're going to have to get serious about budget reform.

- Katrina Vanden Huevel at the Nation calls for a solid $1 trillion to be spent over the next two years to revitalize the economy, top to bottom.

- The current stimulus package clocks in around $775 billion.  Max Baucus will host a meeting of the Senate Finance Committee tomorrow to talk it over. 

- The healthcare industry could reap $100 billion in the stimulus package, mostly via state medicaid programs.

Politics

- Dr. Sanjay Gupta (yes, that Dr. Sanjay Gupta) will be the next Surgeon General.  Ezra Klein, for one, couldn't be happier with the selection.

- Poor Roland Burris was turned away from the Senate yesterday.  He's going back today, hoping to get a seat this time.

-  Dianne Feinstein has been raining the blows down on her fellow Democrats lately. First she blasted the choice of Leon Panetta to head the CIA (more specifically, she blasted the choice not to consult her), and now she's criticizing Dems for refusing to seat Roland Burris.  Is she positioning herself to run for governor of California next year?

- In an act of great compassion and powerful mercy, Jeb Bush announced yesterday that he would not seek the Senate seat that Mel Martinez plans to vacate in two years. That pretty well blows up Republican plans, and opens the race up to damn near anybody.

- Could Caroline Kennedy's appointment to the Senate cost Democrats the seat? 

International

- If you haven't checked it out, I strongly advise you go browse through Foreign Policy's new suite of blogs.  For a primer, some of the best commentary on Israel's incursion into Gaza has come from their sites: Marc Lynch, here;  Stephen Walt, here and here; David Rothkopf, here and here. And then you're just getting started.

- Joe Biden will be making a trip to "Southwest Asia" soon-- not as VP-elect, but in his capacity as a Senator.  Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan will all be on the itinerary.  The trip will show the governments and people of those states that the new administration is serious about their issues, while avoiding the rigmarole of organizing a vice presidential trip.  Steve Clemons thinks it's a great idea, even if Politico doesn't.

One More Thing

- Do you need a Sarah Palin calendar? Do you ever!

- Can we please have a Barack-themed ice cream flavor? Yes, Pecan!

- Last, finally Anderson Cooper gets serious about Sasha and Malia's new puppy:



1/6 Roundup: Outsider Insider, Getting a Seat, Kitty Plague

In Your CIA, Directing Your SpooksLeader: Outsider Insider

- Word leaked that President-elect Obama would choose former congressman and Clinton Chief of Staff Leon Panetta to serve as his director of the CIA. The choice was a surprise, to say the least, and reactions have been as impassioned as they have been varied.  The primary bone of contention is that Panetta has no direct experience in intelligence, and will be heading an agency that prefers to be lead by its own.  Spooks prefer spooks. Laura Rozen at the Cable has a good rundown of reactions from both sides.

- Some, such as Robert Baer at Time, have argued that Panetta's outsiderness will be an advantage. The CIA was a political tool under President Bush, he says, and having a chief who knows the ins and outs of Washington as well as anyone can only be a boon for the Agency. 

- What's more, Panetta is an experienced and proven manager, and as Marc Ambinder points out, he'll have a massive human resources problem on his hands as soon as he arrives.

Politics

- As the Senate is sworn in today, the future of two prospective Senators is still cloudy.  Roland Burris, "Crooked" Rod Blagojevich's choice to replace Obama, is wondering if he can get seated without the signature of the Illinois Secretary of State, the approval of the State Legislature, or the support of many Senate Democrats.  

- Al Franken, likewise, who was finally declared victor in Minnesota yesterday, will face delays as Norm Coleman initiates a legal challenge to Franken's narrow victory. 

- Eve Fairbanks has an interesting piece in TNR on the curious placidity of right-wing Republicans these days.

- Are you new to the House? A first-time Congressperson? Politico throws you a bone with "7 habits of highly effective Freshmen."

Economy

- PEBO worked the Hill yesterday, and did his best to convince
skeptical Republicans that they, too would have a voice in crafting the
stimulus plan. Obama is hoping to have a bill ready for his signature by late January or early February, and wants Congress to get cracking.

- Everyone's in a tizzy over Steve Jobs's choice to sit out this year's MacWorld Expo. Rumors that his health is in decline-- perhaps a recurrence of pancreatic cancer-- have driven Apple's stock price down, and worried investors and Mac fans alike. Jobs's explanation yesterday of his obvious weight loss were not particularly reassuring.

International

- Ten days in, the Israeli Defense Forces continue to push into Gaza, taking control of several high rise buildings in Gaza City. According the WaPo, more than 40 people were killed yesterday, nearly half of whom were children. Calls by European leaders to end the incursion have gone unheeded in Jerusalem.

- The Windy reports on Obama's push to shift US policy toward Cuba.  NDN has long argued for a new, more enlightened approach to our island neighbor, including the easing of travel and remittance restrictions on Cuban families, and we're pleased to see Obama taking this stance.

One More Thing

- Just a month after the Clintons' cat Socks was reported to be terminally ill with cancer, the Bushes' cat India (AKA Willie; AKA Kitty) has bought the farm

- In what some travelers might see as divine retribution, the new, blue uniforms worn by TSA employees are reportedly causing horrible skin rashes and otherwise making the officers ill.

- Did you hear about the man who accidentally bought Joe Biden's cufflinks at a thrift store?

- Last, TPM does a little video on the debate between the five men running for chairmanship of the RNC.  For center-lefties, it's deeply reassuring:

 

NDN Jobs

I <3 my jobSam here, writing with a reminder that you might be interested in working for NDN!

We're still taking applications for winter and spring internships.  See details here.

We're also looking to hire a CFO.  Details below, and more here.

Questions? Answers?  Write to me.  

Chief Financial Officer

Job Description:To direct and oversee all financial activities of the organization(s), including preparation of current financial reports and forecasts for economic trends and future growth

Essential Functions:

  • Oversee all accounting practices, budget preparation and audit functions
  • Meet regularly with president and department heads to keep informed and to offer direction
  • Prepare budgets and financial reports Direct financial strategy, planning and forecasts based on the financial reports and suggest methods for improvement
  • Supervise investment and/or raising of funds
  • Study, analyze and report on trends and opportunities for expansion and projection of future growth
  • Closely monitor cash flow with controller/bookkeeper

Qualifications:

  • Master’s Degree in business administration, accounting, or finance
  • CPA designation preferred
  • 4 to 5 years of experience in financial management
  • Excellent verbal and written communication skills
  • Excellent analytical and organizational skills
  • Knowledge of MS Great Plains accounting software preferred

1/5 Roundup: Splitting Gaza, Lowering Expectations, More Bushes

PeaceLeader: Israeli Forces Split Gaza

- After a week of shelling the physical infrastructure of Hamas, the Israeli military entered Gaza yesterday, dividing the Strip into halves.  Under covering fire from air, sea, and land, forces seized key rocket-launching sites and surrounded the main city. In the past week, over 500 Palestinians have been killed. One Israeli soldier was killed in the ground campaign.

- The Wall Street Journal notes that this conflict is characterized by a sharp divergence in strategy from Israel's 2006 war with Hezbollah in Lebanon. Most importantly, the Israeli leadership has set modest and achievable goals for the campaign.

- Israel may have chosen this time to strike in part because they're about to say farewell to a long-time ally in Washington-- President George Bush.  Had they waited until after 1/20, an assault would have looked as though they were making an unkind statement about PEBO.

- Obama has remained silent throughout the conflict, maintaining his rule of "one president at a time" with regard to foreign policy matters.

Politics

- Governor Bill Richardson, Obama's choice to head the Commerce Department, has withdrawn his name from consideration for the post. An ongoing investigation involving one of his donors in New Mexico would likely have delayed his confirmation. In a statement yesterday, Richardson took pains to make clear that he had engaged in no wrong doing.

- Tim Kaine will take over for Howard Dean as Chairman of the DNC.  Kaine has one more year Governing Virginia, and will presumably be very busy until January of 2010. 

- Al Franken looks poised become the victor in the never-ending recount of the Minnesota Senatorial election.  The final margin? 225 votes.

- Mr. Obama is coming to Washington today! The rest of the family arrived Saturday, so that the girls could start school this morning.

- Howard Fineman can think of eight reasons why Obama might want to try to lower some expectations. 

Economy

- Time gives grades to various aspects of the bailout in their "Bailout Report Card." Not surprisingly, everybody gets an F in the "keep people in their homes" department.

- Remember when we were promised an economic stimulus on January 20th?  Yeah, I didn't think that sounded likely either. We were right.

International

- John Atta Mills won a very close runoff and will serve as the next president of Ghana. Outside observers say there was no evidence of corruption.   He assures Ghanaians that he will be "a president for all," which sounds awfully familiar to me.

- The US is moving into a brand new embassy in Baghdad today. It cost nearly $600 million, is the biggest embassy in the world, and is guarded like a fortress.  It is meant to represent the new role of the US in Iraq, as ally, rather than occupier.

One More Thing

- Foreignpolicy.com has a new look and a new mission that Politico and I think is pretty cool.

- George Bush the first thinks his son Jeb would make a terrific president some day.  Shudder.

- Last, Happy New Year, everyone!  I feel good about 2009.  So, apparently, did the kissers and mooners in Lake Tahoe:

2008 Roundup: The Year in Festive Verse

‘Tis the night before Christmas and DC is away
Or lounging in bed, or perhaps led astray
The news has gone quiet and journos are napping
After quite a long year of political happ’ning
And heck, they’ve all earned it, so I’ll take a crack
At recapping the year with a rhyming look back

Concord, New Hampshire, and Reno, and Ames
A year back began our electoral games
And that was the end of John Edwards and Biden
(Or so we thought then! ‘Twas just 8 months of hidin’)
Bill Richardson also then bowed out with grace
As did Rudy and Fred from the opposite race

On a real super Tuesday, McCain mopped the floor
With his weaker opponents, who soon saw the door
And in the left corner, we were left with just two
Democratic contenders, in a Senate who’s who
There was Barack Obama—young, black, and cool
Who could give a mean speech—his most evident tool
And then Hillary Clinton, of first lady fame
A force in the Senate, and an ace at the game

Barack barnstormed Iowa, and though dared not brag
He looked good in New Hampshire—it was all in the bag
But Clinton held strong, put her campaign in gear
Gave an impassioned speech and—wait—was that a tear?
It’s hard to say now, but the outcome was decisive
And they continued campaigning in a race quite divisive
Of Reverends and fist daps and American identity
Our once-civil quarrels now laced with obscenity

They battled for months, until one day in June
It was suddenly over, not a moment too soon
Obama had clinched it, a real upset win
With a campaign quite free of both malice and sin
Then hit July, and with smiling elation
We all read a novel and went on vacation

Olympics in August kept us glued to the telly
The Michael Phelps gold rush turned insides to jelly
Brown air aside, we admired Beijing
Where athletes faced off and did battle for bling
Saint Paul and Denver fended off the attacks
Of hoards of political junkies and hacks
The endless campaign approached final conclusion
As the Veepstakes at last yielded full-ticket fusion

Joe Biden was swell, a real old-fashioned mensch
And Palin, well, we’ll just say was a wrench
First in Barack’s campaign, and then in her own
As she proved to be more than excessively prone
To non-answers, half-answers and full-blown live gaffes
Summoning cringes, and head-slaps and too many laughs
The campaign’s sad attempts to make blunders less big
Were like trying to put lipstick on an unwilling pig

In debates we heard all about mavericks, my friend
As ec’nomic signals began to portend
Of a hyper-grade meltdown to ruin us all
And the banks soon had all of their backs to the wall
As Lehman neared death, Paulson refused them bail
AIG, it turned out, was much too big to fail
And with crisis still rising the red team got dumber:
Based their whole fiscal plan on Joe/Sam the not-plumber

Riding high on his promise of change and of hope
Barack pulled ahead, looking ready to cope
With whatever foul chance fate should throw his direction
The American people preferred his protection
And on November fourth, took an historic leap
Of such powerful force it made stolid men weep

Since then we’ve been basking in electoral glow
And saying goodbye all our earned dough
Our stocks and our bonds continue to sink
GM and Chrysler are now on the brink
In Iraq, shoes are flying; here we’ve got Blago
The lord of the darkness in seamy Chicago
So we’re distracted with stories about Caroline Kennedy
And Colmes’s depression over breakup with Hannity

But here comes ’09, ripe with fresh opportunity
A time for community and national unity
And from K Street to Petworth to far Kalorama
Everyone’s eyes follow Barack Obama
Hopes ride on Barack, and he’s got quite a task
So I won’t request much, just one small Christmas ask:
Our country is busted! Make everything right!
Now, Merry Christmas to you, and to you, a good night

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night

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